Astrology compatibility is one of the most searched terms in Google. Every month thousands of people ask themselves the question ‘Is this person right for me?’ Unable to answer it for themselves they head where any-tech savvy person goes for answers: Google. There are so many problems with this I barely know where to begin!
First, there’s an error in the logic of the question, which assumes there are right and wrong people to be with. Even that there is one special person, a person who will complete us, who will bring us the happy-ever-after we’ve been promised. This is a contentious issue. Perhaps relationships are not meant to make us happy? Perhaps relationships are meant to help us grow? This would mean that some of our worst relationships are actually our most successful.
Second, astrology compatibility is usually defined as whether your Sun sign gets along with their Sun sign. Sun sign astrology divides the population up into twelve groups and assigns them a bunch of qualities that define them. Apart from being ridiculously simplistic, this view fails to take into account the many other factors in a person’s birth chart. Let alone their genetic and cultural background, both of which clearly play a huge part in the kind of person you become and who you will relate well to.
Third, the fact that so many of us are asking Google to tell us if we’ve found our soul mate, suggests we are profoundly and dangerously disconnected from our intuition. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not immune to this problem. For years I wandered blindly in and out of relationships, without stopping to ask myself what my purpose was. I struggled with fear of intimacy, attachment, rejection and abandonment, fear of hurt and of hurting others. The raucous babble of all this fear stifled the quiet inner voice that was supposed to be guiding me.
Appeal of astrology compatibility: signpost to higher ground?
Despite my misgivings I think the strong interest in astrology compatibility suggests two very important things about the current state of our evolution.
First, many of us are craving a deeper intimacy than we find in our everyday lives. Statistics suggest over 28% of adults in the US are single. Figures are similar in other developed countries. Statistics from the UK’s Office of National Statistics show nearly a third of women are living alone by the time they retire. One in five will never have children. No wonder so many of us crave a deep connection with another!
Second, interest in astrology compatibility suggests many of us want to build stronger relationships, and are looking to astrology for clues on how to do this. The fact that most people stumble upon nothing more profound than a colourful chart claiming to know the fate of their relationship, doesn’t detract from the fact that astrology can provide valuable insights into how to make a relationship last. As this is not a common skill in today’s culture of serial monogamy, it is a positive sign that people are looking for guidance in this area.
Understanding astrology compatibility deepens relationships
There’s a deeper form of astrology compatibility that can provide insight into how we relate to others, as well as areas of potential conflict. It’s called synastry and involves a thorough analysis of the aspects between the planets and points in each person’s chart. True astrology compatibility is a fascinating way of assessing how two people work together. It can help you build a strong, healthy and committed relationship that nourishes both partners. It can also give you clues as to why a relationship is not nourishing you.
In general, any relationship can be improved by practicing the following:
- Reconnect with your intuition. Your higher self knows what you need and will guide you to it. If it’s been a while since you heard your intuition clearly consider quietening the mind with meditation. Automatic writing can also help tap your inner wisdom
- Talk to your partner or love interest. Be honest with each other about what you want from a relationship. Allow yourself to be vulnerable: showing your true selves to each other can provide all the clues you need to know whether you are ‘right’ for each other.
- Take off the rosy coloured glasses. Failing to acknowledge a person’s faults and failings can only lead to big time disappointment! Accept a person as they are while acknowledging their right to change. You deserve the same considerations.
- Let go of expectations. As Neale Donald Walsh writes in one of my favourite books Conversations with God, ‘Expectations ruin relationships.’ It’s not your partner’s job to complete you. You’re already fine as you are!
- Stop expecting Happy-Ever-After. A loving relationship can bring much joy but there are always going to be difficulties. Accept this and work together to gain strength from adversity rather than blaming each other when things don’t turn out the way you want.
- Take responsibility for your own growth and development. Beware projection! When something goes wrong between you ask yourself how you could behave better, rather than focusing on all the things the other person is doing wrong.
Ultimately the key to a happy relationship with anyone lies with yourself. By becoming aware of the habits and tendencies that lead you to a particular kind of partner or relationship you will ultimately become capable of having a healthy relationship with any other healthy adult. No matter what their Sun sign!
Faith is founder and principal of Insight Astrology and has been teaching and giving readings for over twenty years. She is fascinated by astrology as a tool for personal growth and passionate about empowering others to read its language.