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The astrology of sexuality, gender and desire: why we want what we want

astrology of sexuality

Okay so this may seem like a risque subject to some, but let’s face it we’re all sexual, gendered beings and this is a fascinating aspect of the self that is clearly shown in the natal chart. Exploring the astrology of sexuality can give insight into the many facets of our inner desires and can tell us quite a lot about why we want the things we want from sex.

Despite what popular astrology would have you believe, your Sun sign alone isn’t going to tell you a hell of a lot about what you enjoy in the bedroom. The astrology of sexuality is far more nuanced and subtle than that. But let’s start with the basics.

Important planets in the astrology of sexuality

In exploring the astrology of sexuality we need to look at the chart as a whole, however some of the planets will tell us more about our sexuality than others. Generally speaking the important planets to consider are:

  • The Sun – as our intrinsic life force and motivating energy the Sun is fundamental to what drives us. Its sign and house placement, as well as the aspects it forms to other planets, can give us insight into how interested in sex we are likely to be.
  • The Moon – as an indicator of our emotional life the Moon can tell us how attached we are likely to get after sex and how important it is for us to feeling emotionally connected to a partner.
  • Venus – our modus operandi in relationships, the placement of our Venus gives crucial information on how we connect with our sexual partner and the kind of love language we are likely to speak.
  • Mars – as our phyiscal energy and libido the placement of Mars lets us know a lot about just how sexual we are and how we express our sexual energy. It also tells us how aggressively we will pursue the object of our desire.
  • Pluto – as the energy of life, death and rebirth Pluto rules the reproductive system. The placement and aspects of Pluto also give us crucial information about how power plays out in our relationships and often shows us the darker side of our sexuality.

Key houses to consider in the astrology of sexuality

The following houses give us clues in our exploration of the astrology of sexuality:

  • The 1st house – tells us about the self and how confident we are in our own needs and desires, as well as how selfish we are likely to be during sex.
  • The 2nd House – tells us what we find sensual and physically pleasing, what is likely to turn us on and make use feel safe and secure.
  • The 5th House – the house of summer romance tells us what we find fun and how likely we are to enjoy casual, non-commital sex.
  • The 7th House – tells us about partnership and how we connect intimately one-on-one, this house is less about sex than it is about relationship.
  • The 8th House – the house of sex and reproduction, the ‘little death’ and the dark aspects of our being, this house can show us how power plays out in our relationships.

Aspect configurations and their impact on sexuality

Now that we’ve got a better idea of which planets and houses are relevant in the astrology of sexuality we can look to see what aspects are formed between them. Generally speaking, a person who is fairly uncomplicated sexually is likely to have fairly harmonious aspects between the sexual elements in their chart. On the other hand, someone who might be considered kinky or whose desires are more unconventional is likely to have more challenging aspects, particularly between the personal planets and Pluto.

Gender and sexual orientation

Despite our social and family upbringing, some women are naturally very masculine, while some men are very feminine. Some people even find themselves born into the body of one gender and identifying strongly with the other, while others are strongly attracted to partners of the same sex.

Gender and sexual orientation is often writ very clearly in the chart and is a fascinating part of the astrology of sexuality. At the most basic level the number of planets in each element can tell a lot about how masculine or feminine a person is, for example a women with a lot of fire and air signs will likely be more maculine than another who is all earth and water.

More specifically, the sign placement of Mars and Venus can say a lot about how a person expresses gender, and who they are attracted to. A man with Mars in Leo will be far more manly than another with Mars in Pisces for example. If this Mars in Pisces man has Venus is Leo he may be attracted to a more masculine partner, either male or female.

The astrology of sexuality: kinks, taboo and morality

Our unique approach to sex is a complex combination of many astrological elements. On the one hand we have people who consider themselves asexual with no interest in sex whatsoever, while at the other end of the spectrum are those whose sexuality is considered socially unacceptable, perverted or kinky. Our attitudes to sex can be very open-minded or exceedingly prudish and this too is often clearly written in our natal charts.

Because sex is such a crucial part of who we are, exploring the astrology of sexuality in your own chart or that of your sexual partner can provide valuable clues for understanding yourself and your relationship better. Seeing your sexuality written plainly in your chart can also free you from any shame you may be carrying and help you accept yourself.

If you want to learn more about the astrology of sexuality you can order a reading or discuss your thoughts with others in the Know Yourself Astrology Circle.


2 Comments on The astrology of sexuality, gender and desire: why we want what we want

  1. Faith, thank you for writing this helpful article. Recently, I’ve been exploring the astrology of love and relationships, in general. It’s interesting to see how the combination of the signs and houses in which natal Sun, Mars, Venus, and Moon are placed can affect how we appear to others, how we feel inside and other nuances that affect the way we “love” and can receive “love” in return…

  2. Fun topic, Faith! Definitely a complex astrological topic worth exploring in anyone’s chart! I also like to consider the phasal relationship between Mars and Venus for some clues. Thanks for your insight on this.

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